It Was Him
by mpkio2
Summary: It was at Bebe's slut party when I first saw him. He had brown hair, dressed in a grey shirt and had a jacket over his shoulder...I fell in love with him, instantly. Silly Kyle/Lonely Cartman. Kyman - Excpect OOCness Rated T for implied themes. Please R
1. Part I

**A/N:**

**The idea for this Cartman/Kyle one-shot occurred to me when I was walking to college to other day. I thought to myself: "I have written Cartman/Kyle fics when their older, but never when their the age they are in the show..." **

**This lead me to write a one-shot based on the episode "Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset" from the 8****th**** season. This one-shot is based on that small scene where Cartman disguises himself so he can get into Bebe's party; the scene was so perfect for a Cartman/Kyle, I couldn't resist writing it!**

**By the way, it's my first attempt at some strong romance scenes so, please be nice when reviewing!**

**Also, the Kyle and Cartman will be out of character - just thought I should let you know that.  
**

**Sorry for bad spelling and grammar issues!  
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**Warning:** Some strong MalexMale kissing and making out, filled with Kyman's epicness.

**Disclaimer:** I am obliged to write this statement, for if I don't, I would probably be sued for god knows how much money. In short, I don't own South Park; Matt Stone and Trey Parker do.

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**It Was Him  
**Written by mpkio2

It was at Bebe's slutty party when I first laid eyes on him, when I fell in love with him...

Seeing how Paris Hilton had visited South Park not only two days ago to open up a new store that sells the most slutiest things you could imagine. Naturally, seeing how Paris Hilton is so "cool" with the girls, Bebe and all the girls in our year started to wear the most provocative clothes you would ever see a nine year old girl to wear. The strangest thing, however, came two days after this event...

--

I was making my way down the school corridor, minding my own business as I do so, walking in the direction of the school cafeteria, Clyde in front of me, he too walking in the same direction as I. Up ahead; I see Bebe and some of the girls in my class. They were all, obviously, still wearing their slutty clothes. They stood standing by some lockers, Cartman, the egotistical asshole that I loathe strongly, was standing next to the girls, had his back turned, and was busy with rammerging in his locker. The girls said some things to Clyde as he walked on by, giving a confused expression as he made his way. I thought nothing of it as I continued to walk.

"Oh, here comes Kyle!" One of the girls said in an excited voice (I believed her name was Millie or something like that). And as I walked on ahead, I saw Cartman's eyes follow my figure, ignoring him and the girls all completely. But I failed at the last part....

"Hmm....talk to me cousha boy" The girl named Red hummed to me in a very weird voice. Wait....were they....trying to flirt with me? What the fuck is going on!?

"I'd like to twitlze his pixiestick," Another girl said in the same tone Red used not mere seconds ago.

Fighting the urge not to look at the girls, I caved in. I looked at them with a confused and bewilded expression on my face, trying to confirm what I was thinking was actually true. They all smiled at me; did this not answer my question and left me even more confused.

I decided to leave the girls with their own antics; I didn't want to bother thinking about what kind of motive the girls had in mind and what their somewhat, strange and weird words, meant to me. But as I carried on walking, Bebe shouted:

"Party at my house tonight, Kyle!" I took this as an invitation. Why the girls wanted to invite me to a party, I didn't know (Although, I had an idea but I doubted that would be it). None of the girls in my class had even invited me to one of their parties, neither birthday or house.

But now that I had been invited, I didn't believe I should attend. Something (What, I don't know) urged me not to go, not to attend.

With my brain concentrating on my thoughts, I hadn't realized I entered the cafeteria. I rubbed my head and joined the line to grab some food. Once I had a tray with food, I heard a familiar voice shout "Kyle!" I looked around and saw Stan sitting at a table with all the other guys.

I smiled and joined them straight away. I sat next to Stan, opposite Kenny. Apparently, everyone was in deep conversation. I didn't have to ask for Clyde had asked the guys on the table what they thought was going to happen at Bebe's party. This answered another question I was going to ask: "Whose attending Bebe's party?". It seemed as if all of the guys were attending; all seemed to be talking about it. Cartman, however, sat in peace, eating away at the chicken nuggets, his face in a frown, his eyes looking down. I guess he wasn't invited; more reason for me to attend Bebe's party.....

"Can't wait to see what Bebe' has in store," Stan said excitedly.

"Yeah," I murmured, but loud enough for the guys to here. "Me too,"

--

And so here I am in Bebe's house, up against the wall with a girl trying to force her tongue into my mouth. I protested at the action, but she ignored me altogether. I squirmed under her body against mine; I really didn't like this. And as I looked around the room, I could tell that none of the other boys was enjoying themselves.

Token was pinned to the floor by Millie and a girl named Annie. What they were trying to do to him (Which involved taking the boy's pants down), I didn't want to know. Clyde was being flirted by a girl named Teresa. Stan was pinned down on a chair by Red, Tweek was being chased around the room by a girl I didn't know the name of. All the boys was not enjoying Bebe's party at all. Well, except for Kenny who looked as if he had died and gone to heaven.....again (He spent fifteen minutes in the closet with Hannah!).

By the time the girl had successfully pushed her tongue into my mouth and I jumped and squealed in surprise and protest, I knew it was time for me to leave the party.

I pushed her back gently, stopping her from attacking my mouth.

"Hey!" She exclaimed. "Why'd you do that for, baby?"

"I'm leaving this party," I said in a firm voice. "Goodbye," I firmly budged by her, not caring much if I knocked her again. I made my way through the battlefield that was Bebe's party. I stepped over boys and girls, ignoring everything that was happening around me. The party looked more like a scene from Greek mythology; harpies were attacking the titans.

Ignoring the provocative acts around the room helped a lot, for I was almost at the front door, freedom in my grasp.

But as the front door came into sight, my body froze and my heart started to race......

There in the doorframe stood a boy with light brown, smooth hair, the tips of his hair, highlighted with a dark brown colour. He was wearing a grey shirt, wore a pair of black pants and had a jacket swung over his left shoulder. He was rather large and looked a little porky.

I didn't move at all. My brain wasn't working, my heart thumping wildly. I didn't respond to anything around me. I didn't blink at all, my eyes on hi the whole time. But as fast as he appeared, he disappeared just as fast.

I shook my head, vigorously, thinking I saw wrong. But as I looked back at the front door, the boy had disappeared. I darted my eyes around the room , thinking I would see a flash of brown that was his hair or the colour of grey that was his shirt. He couldn't have gone too far! But the boy was nowhere to be seen....

I didn't think I would find him walking outside in the dark deserted streets (Who could deny entrance to a boy as handsome as that!?), but I was clearly wrong. The boy's head was down, looking completely depressed, walking alone, as snow slowly drifted down and settled onto the ground.

"Hey!" I shouted as I ran after the boy, spotting his shoulder in the light of the lamppost. "Wait up, kid!"

The boy stopped to a halt, and slowly turned around. I was right behind him now, my hands on my knees, my upper body slouched over, panting for breathe. As I lifted to my full height, I saw the boy's face turn into a face of confusion and surprise.

"Kahl?" The boy said with just as much shock and surprise he showed on his face. "What are you doing here?"

This, in turn, shocked and surprised me. "H-how do you know who I am?" I titled my head to the side, inquisitively.

There was a long silence, the only noise being the music that was heard from Bebe's house party. The expression on the boy's face seemed to be one of concentration; he looked as if he was thinking things over in his head. And as he did this, I looked onto his face, and my heart melted instantly. He was so handsome......but what was that other feeling? Should I even be feeling it at this age? But he was so cute and he was so....so....I just wanted to grab him and kiss-

"Kid?" A distant voice sent me back to reality. But as I shook my head and looked ahead, I realized that the voice wasn't distant at all. "You....really don't know who I am?"

This sort of confused me; why would I know who he was? And why did he ask the question with a hint of nervousness? What was he afraid of?

"No," I answered. "I don't know who you are," The boy's eyes lit up; I smiled. They seemed so soft, so beautiful....

"Then....why did you call me to stop?" The boy asked, titling his head to the side a little.

At this point, I turned all nervous. I held my hands together behind myself, darted my eyes down at the scattered snow and kicked my right leg aimlessly, not kicking anything in particular. Why did I become so nervous all of a sudden?

"Well, I...." I started, by voice a little shaky. "....I....you looked very lonely when you walked away from Bebe's party....." I looked up to see his reaction, both of our eyes meeting. He looked as if he wanted to be anywhere but here; my heart plummeted a little bit.

"W-What!?" He exclaimed. He folded his arms. "I am NOT lonely!" He shouted angrily, his eyes narrowed.....he sounded very familiar. "I just.....don't need any people, that's all," He turned his back to me.

Straight away, I could tell he was hurt. He seemed like he was a caring soul, but at the same time, there was this other side to him, a side that didn't care at all. Maybe I was looking to much into it (For I had only met hi mere five minutes ago), but something told me I was right...

I slowly, but tentatively put my hand onto his shivering shoulder. He jumped a little and yanked my comforting hand away.

"I'm leaving," The boy said in a thick voice, filled with anger and sadness. He started to trot on. I followed him.

"Well....can I take you home?" I don't know why I was asking this question; I just knew I had to ask him. He stopped suddenly, turned to face me and said in a whisper:

"What?" I could see there were some tears in the corner of his eyes. "You...wanna take me home?" The boy asked the question again, probably not knowing if he heard me right. I nodded my head to answer. "Why?"

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled weakly. "You look like you need a friend," And it was true, he really did. He looked as if he had gone through a lot....what had happened to him? Whatever did happen to him, I' sure it was anything good. I just wanted to comfort him and hug hi tightly to my body...

"Why do you wanna take me home?" The boy asked the question again with a slight anger to his voice. His arms were folded and his eyes were narrowed, again.

"I just.....wanna help you," I looked down, feeling a little embarrassed, but also a little upset that he would think I would have another motive to take hi home. What was he thinking? Did he think I was some twisted fucked up kid?

The boy's chubby face seemed to soften. His gorgeous eyes sparkled with shock, his mouth hung open a little. God, he looked beautiful....

"Err....OK," The angel walked a little closer to me, his eyes staring into mine. The light above us coming from the lamppost made an ominous glow, small snowflakes falling between us.

"Where's your house?" I asked him. He fidgeted, moving his right foot against the snow.

"Actually," I sensed the nervousness in his voice, immediately. Can....we go to your house?"

That startled me; I didn't expect him to ask me such a question. Did he already posses so much trust in me already? I mean, he didn't even know my name, who I was! Why was he asking me such a question? But when I looked into his chocolate filled, pitiful eyes, I smiled, goofily.

"I....sure. I mean, if you want to...." I let him answer that question, which he did with a nod. I nodded my head as well and smiled at him; he smiled back. "OK....follow me this way..." I walked in the opposite direction; he followed me by coming to my side.

The night was dark and the streets were cold and deserted. I saw him shiver. I put a warm hand to his shoulder.

"It's gonna be alright, kid," I said in a comforting voice. "By the way, what's your name?" The boy didn't answer straight away. Stupidly, I thought he didn't have a name once much time passed. But this thought left my brain as he whispered out:

"Eric,"

"My name's Kyle," And as we walked on ahead, I swear I heard him whisper back: "I know,"

--

By the time I and Eric entered my house, it was half past eleven. Luckily for myself, my parents were asleep in their bedroom. When I asked if I could go to Bebe's party, they thoroughly told me "No,". Not wanting to be the only boy in the whole class not to go to the party (Well, except for that fatass, Cartman), I told my parents I was going to sleep early, locked my door, climbed out of my window and went off to the party.

I opened the door with my key. We both entered the warm room that welcomed us. I turned on a light and I whispered:

"You can sit on the couch if you want...." What? Why would I offer to ask him a question like that? Of course he was welcomed to sit on a couch! What was I thinking!?

"Thanks," Eric muttered as he sat on the couch, looking down at the floor.

"You can watch some TV if you like......" The boy....Eric, shock his head. I sighed.

"Do you want something to eat or-?" But my question was cut off abruptly.

"What's wrong with me?" Eric asked, as he looked up to me with wide brown eyes; he looked so adorable! Wait, concentrate, Brofovski! He's upset....

"Nothing's wrong with you," I said in a calm voice. I sat next to him and I put a arm around him. The next thing I knew, he leaned his head onto my shoulder and started to sob into my shirt. I patted his head. "It's...OK, Eric,"

"W-why is m-my life s-so fucked u-up!?" Eric sobbed harder into my shirt, not looking up at me at all. "W-why doesn't a-anyone l-like me?" At this being said, my heart ached for the guy.

"I'm sure that's not true," I said comfortingly, even though I didn't know that was true or not. Eric cried more so I rocked hi backwards and forwards calming him down by making a "Shh" noise into his ear. "I don't see how anyone can hate you," Kyle, dangerously, put his nose into the boy's brown hair, smelling the cool scent that lingered in the brown hair.

"It is true!" Eric wailed, loudly. "Nobody ever plays with, nobody says nice things about me, nobody ever invites me to their party!" After this being said, I understood what was wrong. It all made sense now; Eric had tried to enter Bebe's party but he was denied access. He then left the party, a party where everyone else was invited to.

"The person I really like, hates me1" Eric continued to sob, tightly, taking a grip at Kyle's shirt. "The kid hates me!" I held onto him tighter. What I was about to say, about to do, was very risky. But the kid, this cute, adorable boy, needed it....

"I like you a lot," I said in a whisper. Eric looked into my eyes. "I....really do like you.......I-I guess.....what I'm trying to say is......" It was now or never; this was the moment. I gulped down the fear in my throat, held the boy's face in my hands and said:

"I love you, Eric," And in one swift motion, I pressed his lips against mine. A soft fluttering feeling lifted in my body. My heart beat strongly, thundering against Eric's body. I didn't notice how Eric didn't respond at first, but after a few minutes, he put his arms around my neck and started to press his lips against mine.

Eric slowly pushed me down onto the couch. His kisses were so passionate, so strong, yet so desperate, like he was desperate for human contact. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back passionately.

And then, Eric did something i thought he wouldn't do; he slowly unbuttoned my shirt. He took it off in one movement. I then, nervously (Wondering where the heck this was going), undid his shirt and took it off. The excitement was in the air and we both felt it between us. I also felt the excitement in my crouch....what the fuck was going on? But in my confusion, Eric had already started to unbutton my pants. I did the same to him. Once off, I properly saw the excitement in Eric's underwear, which in turn made me more excited. It was going to be a confusing and exciting night.....

--

We had just finished. We both lay on the couch, both of us panting heavily. It was one exciting experience.....but I just couldn't believe I did it at the age of nine! I mean, how many nine year olds did this sort of thing, and with the same sex! If anyone knew about this....my life would be in shatters. My life would be over.

Eric, who was now putting on his clothes, didn't look at me at all. I could just about see the confused expression on his face. He must have been just as confused as I was....but, did he like me the way I like him? Or was it just because he was lonely?

Not wanting to really know the answer to that question, I too started to dress myself. The silence between us was deafening.

Once Eric was fully dressed, I saw him walk over to my front door; he wasn't going to leave without saying goodbye, was he? I walked over to him, standing in the way of his exit.

"Err....I guess I'll see you in school then," I said rather lamely, rubbing the back of my head, not looking at him.

"No, you won't," came the answer from Eric. I looked to him.

"What?" I asked.

"You won't see me in school, never," Eric said in a dark voice. What was he talking about?

"I'll see you in-"

"You won't see me ever again, Kahl," Eric whispered in a upset and angry voice. I was really confused now; what did he mean "never see him again"? He wasn't leaving was he? He couldn't go! I love him too much to let him go!

"You can't-" My broken voice did nothing, for Eric pushed me aside and opened the door. My heart ached for him not leave.

"Please, wait-" And that's when he said it.....

"I love you, Kahl," And he left my house, closing the door with a loud slam.

Kahl....Kahl....Kahl......That name was mine, but how it was pronnounced was not my name. Someone always pronounced my name like that, one egotistical asshole always called me that, made my life a living nightmare......who....loved me? I loved?

No, it couldn't be.....no......please, God, no.....

It was him.

--

**A/N:**

**Wow. It came out much differently than what I expected, but I enjoyed writing it all the same. Is it so wrong to say that the make-out scene turned me on? LOL**

**Anyway, this is my first fluffy romantc Cartman/Kyle, so I hope you enjoyed reading it.**

**I know nine years old is a little young for Cartman and Kyle to....you know....but that's just the way it is; deal with it! (But I couldn't stop to think; do they even have condoms? Lol)**

**I have an urge to continue this.**

**Please leave feedback by leaving me reviews, telling me what you think of it! Did you hate it love it!?**

**~mpkio2 signing off!~**


	2. Part II

**A/N:**

**Thank you so much for the supportive reviews! :)**

**I wasn't going to continue this fanfic but my Beta Reader "OverSweetNightmare" really wanted this to be a Two-Shot. Well, if that's what she wants, that's what she gets!**

**Hope you enjoy! :)**

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****Warning:** None.

**Disclaimer:** I am obliged to write this statement, for if I don't, I would probably be sued for god knows how much. In short, I don't own South Park; Matt Stone and Trey Parker do.

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**It Was Him  
**Written by mpkio2

**Part II**

It was _him_.

It Was Cartman.

It was fucking Eric Theodore fucking Cartman!

It was that egotistical, manipulative, racist, fat-ass! It was that boy that made my life hell, made every single day of my life a living hell! It was that homophobic, asshole! It was him...

Cartman had dressed up differently that night to get into Bebe's party, for he was not invited (for what I knew) and, of course, hearing that every fourth grader was invited to the party, he didn't want to be left out. He didn't want to look uncool. He wanted to look like he was part of our circle of friends; he actually wanted to look like he was part of our grade; part of us all. Of course, he wasn't any of those things...

It was Cartman who had changed his shirt, changed his hair style and changed his attitude all together just so he could enter Bebe's house and fit in with everyone else. Hmm...he probably wanted to ruin the party; I wouldn't be surprised if he had. Maybe that's why he wanted to come into Babe's house; maybe he wanted to ruin the party for everyone who was invited. Maybe he wanted everyone to have a miserable time; if he wasn't happy, then nobody could. Of course; why didn't I see it before! He is a fucking sadistic asshole after all!

He wore that fucking disguise just to ruin the party! He wore that grey shirt, the coat slung over his shoulder in a casual fashion, his light brown, smooth hair, highlighted by the tips with dark brown and his physic looking a lot skinner than it actually is when he wears that red coat of his. His facial features not looking half bad, smooth skin, glisten eyes...what the fuck!

Stop it! Stop it! Fucking stop it! This is Eric fucking Cartman we're talking about here, Kyle! Get a hold of yourself, dude! You hate this boy! You fucking hate him and you wish you never met him, don't you! Don't you? ... Of course you do! He's a fucking dick! You're not suppose to find him...

I almost throw up in my mouth as the thought appeared in my mind.

...attractive.

No. You hate him! Yes, you hate the boy. You can't stand him! You remember that, and maybe we will be able to get through this day without any...problems.

Snow lingered lazily in the air. Some fell to the ground in a lazy fashion, while some drifted in the air, a slight breeze pushing the furies along. It was a grey and miserable start to what I expect to be a slow and grudging day. Currently, I was walking slowly to the usual bus stop where I wait at everyday with Stan, Kenny and..._him_, my head ducked down and staring at the snow.

And as I stared down at the snow, my mind, half not paying attention to the street I was walking on, I kept on thinking about that boy I met last night. That boy that cried on my shoulder, that boy that looked so helpless and pitiful, that boy that looked like he didn't have a friend in the world... "_W-why doesn't a-anyone l-like me?_"...a boy that looked like he would be glad if he died, a boy that looked as if nobody cared about him...a boy that I said I...loved.

Oh god.

My blood runs ice cold as the realization of what happened last night finally hits me.

Oh Mosses, just kill me now!

Not fucking him! Not him!

I said "I love you, Eric," I fucking said that to...him. I said three precious words that you are suppose to say to someone that you actually feel a certain way towards and I said it to him! Of all people! Why him, why? Tell me, god-damn it! Why did I say those words to that egotistical, sadistic, asshole!

I can't stand the boy!...can I? No! Don't lose it, Kyle! You hate him, remember! You hate his personality! You hate that selfish, racist, ignorant...lonely, sad, helpless...You can't stand the way he looks! You hate his fat face, his fat body, his...dark brown eyes of chocolate,...cool scent of his brown hair, his smooth face...

I stop walking, all together. Snow fell all around me, covering the ground in another few inches of snow, me standing in the middle of everything, my mid in a world of its own. The world goes blank around me for a few seconds...

Do I like him? Do I even like him as a ...friend? I do...I don't...I-I...I...Eric-

Cartman. Selfish, egotistical, racist, Jew-bashing FAT-ASS! Kyle get a hold of yourself!

I quickly shake my head, my mind pulling back into reality and away from the blankness that filled my head moments ago, the blankness disappeared in a instant.

What was I thinking? I can't stand! Why did I think, even for a second, that I might actually care about him! Ha! Fat fucking chance! That will never happen in a million years! I-hate him. Yeah, I fucking hat that fat-ass!

With a determined expression on my face, I blink my eyes open, look towards the sidewalk ahead of me that leads to the bus stop (I can just about see Stan's red puff-ball hat),and I walk in a much faster and steady pace. If I wasn't mistaken, the snow around me started to fall at the same pace of my walking.

Snow is really weird like that; one time it's light a fluffy, falling slowly and elegantly to the ground. The next moment, it's falling down at an alarming rate, the snow, slushier and wet than usual. Almost like people, I guess; one time their happy, the next their angry. It's like you don't even know the person. Like you don't even know the boy anymore that you're suppose to hate...Cartman is Eric, Eric is Cartman...

I shake my head, yet again, trying to rid of the insulting thoughts and ideas of the boy, Eric Cartman. He's the same fucking kid! He is still a fat-ass! He is still racist and egotistical! He still bashes on Jew's, Kyle! He is still the same kid, no matter how pitiful and hopeless and...lonely...he may appear to be; he is still Cartman. That boy, Eric, that is still Cartman! Don't fall for it, don't fall for his dastardly trick which, I'm sure, is just another way to embarrass and humiliate you.

Yes, that's it! It was all a fucking joke! It was all a set-up to humiliate me! He wasn't really upset, he was just acting. He wasn't really crying "real" tears; they were only crocodile tears. He didn't mean all that stuff he said... "_W-why is m-my life s-so fucked u-up!_"...no, it was just a trick! He didn't mean none of it. That's a good thing, isn't it! That means his just the same old fat-ass, right? Yeah, everything can go back to normal. I should be happy...

So...why do I feel my stomach seem to plummet? Why do I feel my heart...breaking? What the fuck? Why am I so upset? This is a good thing! His just going to be himself when I see him at the bust stop; his just going to rip on me and his going to pretend nothing ever happened. Right? That's...good? Right?

"The person I really like, hates me!"

Who was he talking about? Who does he really like? Wait...why do I care? It was all pretend! He didn't mean any of it! He doesn't like anybody and, most likely, never will. He doesn't like the guys, the girls, the teachers...me. Why do I care about him? I don't care!

But...if I don't care,,,,why did I say: "I love you, Eric," to him?

I hate you Eric Cartman...

"Kyle, are you alright?" I stop still. I realize that I was standing in front of Stan and Kenny at the bust stop where we always greet each other ever school day. I must have been thinking to much that I didn't realize where I was going...would Cartman just get out of my mind already!

"Kyle?"

Hearing Stan's worried voice again, I blink at him, place a fake smile on my face and reply in a all too happy voice:

"Oh...I'm great, Stan!" Dude, I must have sounded like such a goofball. Stan smiles back, but his right eyebrow is raised a little. Kenny, however, is looking at me with a smirk through his orange parka.

"That's good to hear, Kyle," Stan replies, smiling.

"Sounds like someone had a good time at Bebe's party," Kenny says in a sing-song voice, smirking all the while. I blush in embarrassment.

"Those girls at that party were vultures, Kenny!" I exclaim at him, wondering how he could have find that party having a "good time"...well, he is Kenny after all. "You didn't actually like that party, did you?"

Stan looks at Kenny, now.

Kenny merely smiles and says: "All I'm saying is that this boy right here..." He points his two thumbs at himself. "...is no longer a boy, anymore,"

If I was drinking something, I was sure I would have splurted it out. Kenny wasn't implying what if think he was implying...was he? Stan was thinking along the same lines as me, for his face was a picture of shock and disbelief.

"Dude!" Stan exclaim.

"You...didn't, Kenny?"

And as an answer to my question, Kenny pulls out a condom from his right parka pocket. He smiles like a grinning cat. "I did,"

Kenny had lost his virginity. He fucking lost it to one of those girls at the party...at nine years old! His way too young to be "doing it" at his age! I mean, we're still kids! I finally realize why Kenny had spent so long in the closet with that girl named Hannah.

He actually lost his virginity to...Hannah!

I lost my virginity to...

Eric.

Fuck. No.

My stomach starts to twist and turn and gurgle; I feel like I'm about to puke right onto the snow below my feet. The worlds starts to spin and I casually hold onto someone's shoulder's for support (I don't know whose) to stop myself from falling. My eyes glaze over with fear and fright. My knees begin to buckle at the shock and disbelief that feels my body...

No. Not...him.

I, Kyle Broflovski, lost my virginity to Eric Cartman.

Flashes and images flash before my eyes, images that I wish I never saw, never experienced, never felt...felt so alive. Felt like I was with him, like I was a part of him and he was a part of me...fucking stop it! Kyle, dude! Get a hold of yourself!

Excitement growing...

Bodies groaning...

Hearts race...

Sweat poring...

Get them out! Someone fucking help me! Get them out of my head, now!

I don't want to remember any of it! It wasn't real, it was pretend! He was pretending...wasn't he? Yes, he was! Get over him! Stop thinking about him like he cares about anything! Like he cares about you! He doesn't care about no-one but himself...but he looked so pitiful, hopeless...alone.

I and him did it together; that means something, right? He...wouldn't "do it" if he didn't feel anything, would he? How would that humiliate me? By him fucking me?...he could have token pictures. He might show people and say stuff like: "Look! Kyle's my bitch! I told he was a little faggy-bitch! I told you! Hahaha!" Yeah, that sounds like him alright.

It was all pretend, fake, not real...I feel my heart drop...I don't want to see him ever again-

"Kyle?"

It was his voice. It was his smooth voice. No, it couldn't be! I blink twice and, suddenly, I feel something holding me in place. I look in front of me and I see those deep chocolate eyes staring back at me, those yes that I love so much.

"Kyle, dude! Snap out of it!"

And as fast as I hear his voice, it is gone. For it was never there. I shake my head. The eyes that are staring at me our Stan's eyes and he is staring at me with brown eyes full with concern and worry. But...I heard Cartman's voice. Didn't I?

"What's wrong with you, dude?" Stan asks with Kenny by his side, he too looking fearful for my sanity.

"I'm," I am surprised to find that my voice is a little croaky. "Fine. I'm just a little sick,"

Stan lets go of my shoulders and walks back to his place, his eyebrows still raised.

"Maybe you should go to the nurse when we get to school," Stan suggests. "You look really bad,"

And I am sure, if I visit the nurse, she will discover that I am a confused little boy with a broken and mashed up heart...

The school bus arrives and we climb aboard. I wait a little bit by the door, looking left and right down the street, looking for any sight of a red coat in the distant. But I see nothing...

"Come on kid," The bus driver says, irritable. "Are you getting on, or what?"

"Yeah," I sigh, my head falling a fraction. "I'm getting on,"

The bus door closes and the snow falls lightly onto the ground around the bus that travels on the street.

Where is _he_?

* * *

He was nowhere to be seen at school.

He wasn't in any of the classes, nowhere to be seen at recess, he wasn't even sitting in the cafeteria with a plate full of food...and lunch was his favourite time of the day!

I had asked around, asking the guys if they had seen him at all. But this appeared to be the wrong thing to do for when I had asked, they asked right back:

"Dude, why do you care about where he is? His _Cartman_, remember?"

To get out of this, I just replied with a: "Oh, yeah, of course,"

People seem to have taken this reply without any questions.

No-one had seen him for the whole day; the guys, the girls, the teachers, no-one! He wasn't in school at all! So...why did I hear his voice linger down the corridor's? Why did I hear hi whisper "_Kahl_," in my ear throughout the day? Why did I smell his cool scent of his hair in the playground? Why did I feel like he was right next to me?

"Dude...Kyle, can you hear me?" I shake my head, again for the fifteenth time in the whole day, and looked to Stan. I, Stan and Kenny were all by Stan's locker. "Are you OK? You've been spacing out all day. What's up?"

Should I tell them? No, they will think I'm some weirdo...and gay. Lying was the only possible outcome in this situation...

"Oh, I'm just a little sick, remember what I told you in the morning?"

"Why don't you go home?"

"Nurse doesn't seem to think there's nothing wrong with me, so I have to stay at school," Kyle hadn't even gone to the nurse all day.

"Well, if you're sick all over the floor, she won't be happy," He punched me lightly on the shoulder as a way to cheer me up. I appreciated the gesture but it did nothing to raise my spirit. I smiled, despite myself.

"That's what I said,"

Kenny laughed as we walked back to the classroom, where I was disappointed to find that Cart- Eric's seat was still empty...

* * *

I hadn't seen Eric all day.

School had just closed its gates and myself, Stan and Kenny were all walking down the street towards our houses. Snow lightly feel from the grey, gloomy clouds. Cartman is Eric and Eric is Cartman...

Stan and Kenny were in deep conversation over something (I heard Stan say "Never again,") but I wasn't really paying attention. My attention was on...him. Where was he? What was he doing? Why wasn't he at school? Was he afraid to face me? Is he really lonely? Did he mean the stuff he said? Did he-

"What about you, Kyle?" Kenny's voice sounded from miles away.

I blinked and said: "About what?"

"Duh! Babe's party! Are you going to another one this week? Haven't you been listening to me and Stan talking?"

"Not really," I looked at their expressions; they were both questionable. "Am I going to another one of Babe's slut party's? Err...no way, dude," Kenny looked disappointed at this.

"Fine," Kenny said, sounding rather angry. He crossed his arms. "More pussy for me, then,"

"Eww, Kenny!" Stan exclaimed at Kenny's inappropriate language.

Why couldn't I be like Kenny? Why couldn't I- Why can't I just like girls? I'm not gay, am I? I'm too young to be...anything really? I'm not suppose to have a sexual preference yet...maybe in a few more years, but not now! Kenny is too young to be attracted to girls, isn't he? But...he is still attracted to them. Does that mean I can't be attracted to...guys?

To be attracted to...Eric.

Do I really like Cartman? I hate him, don't I? But those images keep flashing before my eyes. Oh, I'm so confused!

Where has he been? What has he been doing? Why wasn't he at school today? I want to know if it was all "real"; I want to know if he meant every word of it, every word...

"Kyle, me and Kenny are going over to my house to watch some Terrance and Phillip. You coming with?" Stan was asking me as we continued to walk down the street, snow still falling to the ground.

So, why don't I go and talk to him? Stupid, Kyle! He's been in the same place he's been all day! The same place where I could have gone to and talked to him, to face him, to ask him questions, to ask if he meant what he said...Eric has been in his own house for the entire day. I have to go and see him...

"Nah, sorry, dudes," I say, looking at both Stan and Kenny with apologetic eyes; I was sorry that I couldn't hang out with them, but I have to go and talk to him; they will understand. "I've got a lot of homework and my mom wants me to come straight home to finish it," But, I still didn't like lying to them.

Stan shrugged his shoulders. Kenny shakes his head.

"Ah, too bad, dude,"

"Maybe next time...?"

"Sure. See ya tomorrow, Kyle!" Stan and Kenny both start to walk down the street towards Stan's house, both waving to me in farewell.

"See ya, dudes!"

Once Stan and Kenny were nowhere to be seen on the street, I turned around and ran as fast as I could down the street towards the place Eric had been all day long.

* * *

I stand outside_ his_ house.

I'm standing on the small step, standing under a shelter that covers the small step in front of the front door which shelters me from the snow that still falls from the grey clouds. But the snow is falling in all different places and the snow is acting a little odd. Some snow falls fast, some settles gently and some lingers in the air.

I'm about to knock on the door, but my stomach begins to twist and turn and I start to feel sweat drip off my forehead. Wow, am I that nervous to talk to him? But, I should be nervous? Cause...I wanna know what he is feeling, if he meant anything he said, to find out if all of it was pretend. My heart beats fast between my ribcage. And then my heart starts to break; why? Maybe I was, unfortunate and surprising to myself, afraid that he would...reject me?

My clenched fist lingers in the air; my knuckle is just against the door. Should I knock? Maybe it would be a waste of time? Maybe he is still that fat-ass that I would always remember, never forget. Maybe he would never change. Maybe (And I felt a pang to my heart, surprising my emotions, again) last night meant nothing to him...

But, god-damn it, I'm gonna find out!

My face screws into determination. I let me clenched fist fall on the door...

A "knock" sound is made. I hear shuffling behind the door and the theme song to Terrance and Phillip could be heard. In a few moments, the door is open.

In the doorframe, I find Mrs. Cartman standing there and smiling sweetly down at me.

"Oh," She says in a overly happy and sweet voice. "You're one of Eric's little friends, aren't you?"

My heart starts to beat ten times as it did before. My brow starts to become sticky. Why am I so nervous?

"Y-yes," I answer in a stutter. "I-I w...was wondering i-if I could t-t-talk to Cart- I mean, Eric," The woman smiles down at me and my face reddens.

"Oh, I'm sorry but he isn't in at the moment,"

But I didn't believe, despite her sweet voice. I could tell that Cartman was in there; his mom doesn't watch Terrance and Phillip so why did I hear it on the television?

"Pl-ease, just let me...talk to him,"

"I'm sorry but he isn't in," She was lying for her son, no doubt about that.

"He must be in," I say to her, my voice becoming stronger. !He wasn't at school today; where is he?"

Ms. Cartman doesn't reply. I was becoming very annoyed now.

"Cartman!" I try to shout into the house between Ms. Cartman's legs. "I know you're in there!"

"Please, don't- I ignore her.

"I know you're in there and I'm not leaving until I...talk to you," I say the last part quietly because, between Ms. Cartman's leg, standing in front of me, I see _him_. I finally see _him_. There, for real (Is he real?)

I don't care because he is there...he is here.

It was him.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Guess what? It's not a TwoShot!**

**That's right; there's gonna be three parts! And the next part is Cartman/Kyle confrontation.**

**Oh, and is your wondering, the style of this chapter is, mostly, from Kyle's thought process and the narration of the story. So the style is a little different from the last chapter.**

**This chapter got so long that I just couldn't fit everything in one chapter.**

**Please, review! I really wanna know what you all think!**

**Go and check out the Transformers Trailer - South Park style video by going to the link below:**

**www. youtube. com/watch?v=zuRcfJjB8N8 (Remove the gaps!)**

**C ya next update! :)**


	3. Part III

**A/N:**

**OK, I'm sorry I haven't updated this thing in such a long while; my mind has been focusing on other fanfics and problems in life that I, unnoticeably, left this story neglected. So I apologize that you had to wait a long time to read this thing.**

**But good thing is I've written this chapter while I was away at my grandparents house, away from my computer and the city; thank god my sister brought her laptop! lol**

**Anyway, just wanted to say a big thank you for all of the wonderful reviews and encouragement! **

**This is the last part of the story (Part III!) so I hope you enjoy reading and hope you review for a last time.**

**Sorry about spelling and grammar errors!**

**Hope you enjoy! :)**

**

* * *

****Warning:** Some strong MalexMale kissing and making out, filled with Kyman's epicness.

**Disclaimer:** I am obliged to write this statement, for if I don't, I would probably be sued for god knows how much. In short, I don't own South Park; Matt Stone and Trey Parker do.

* * *

**It Was Him  
**Written by Mark Pedro

**Part III**

At last, it was him.

After all this time, all this waiting, wondering thinking, imagining...I finally see him for real with my own eyes.

It was real? Yes, he was real, he was there, standing, right there in front of him! He was here, it was real! But...what about everything else? Was that real? Was Cartman "real" yesterday night when I hugged him and comforted him, unknownest to myself that I was hugging my worst enemy, that my worst enemy was crying, sad, upset, that he was Cartman! Was all that real? My heart ached, surprising myself of the emotion I felt, when I thought that the answer was no.

I truly didn't know what the answer was, to be honest. Was Cartman Eric? And was Eric Cartman? Who was Eric Cartman, anyway? Who was he? But no matter what happened, I am determined to find out. I would discover who the boy named Eric Cartman truly is and by the end of the day, my question would be answered,

His standing right in front of me, standing between his mother's legs, the snow falling to the ground; the only barrier between the two of us. His brown soft brunette hair is glistening and sparkling and not what it usually looks like. Maybe it was because of the lighting or because I had never seen Cartman's hair a lot of the time, so I did (and do not) not notice the true beauty and quality of my enemy's hair. But, no; that couldn't be it. I had only seen Cartman's hair the night before when he disguised himself up to enter Bebe's party, when I first laid eyes on him at that awful party, how I noticed that his hair was different then to what it looked like now, how I remembered the smell of that hair, the feel of it between my fingers, how I love that smell, how, even though it appeared to look different, I could still smell that same smell now; oh how it transported myself back to that night...shit. Concentrate, Broflovski. Stop dreaming about his fucking hair and think about why it looks different to last night!

And as quickly as my brain screamed the question, the answer followed just as quickly; he had a shower. Yes, he did have a shower; I see, now that I look ever so closer, that the boy's hair was wet with water, droplets splashing to the ground. If you saw his hair in the street, you would never say it was Eric Cartman! He looks so freaking different!

But that wasn't the only thing...

I looked down at the rest of his body and was excepting to see him wearing the same old red coat and brown pants, accompanying with the yellow gloves. But I was surprised and, somewhat, shocked, to see him wearing completely different clothes. He was wearing a brown t-shirt that made him look a lot less fatter than what he appeared to be and a pair of dark blue jeans replaced his brown pants. The boy in front of me looked nothing like Eric Cartman; he looked nothing like the Eric Cartman that hated the world, hated humanity and everything nice and loving. He looked nothing like the manipulative and conniving little monster that I had grown up to loath and hate. He looked an entirely new and different person...

The only true evidence that Cartman was still alive under the new boy that stood in front of me was the fat that bulged around him. He was still a fat-ass and always will be, I concluded. Some things will, fortunately, never change...

But, there was also another piece of evidence that the "real" Eric Cartman (Is he fucking real!) was still there, still here, still alive. And the "real" Eric Cartman was staring into his eyes with his eyes. Those eyes.

His eyes; that was the evidence, that was the clue...

His brown, wide eyes were everything I needed to see to know that the boy in front of me was truly him, that it was Eric Cartman. His eyes were sad, shocked...confused. An image of those same eyes flash in my brain, the same expressions transpired in those eyes were the same eyes I saw now. How sad, miserable...lonely they looked. How desperate, how fragile, sad...is this Eric Cartman? Those same gorgeous eyes, his eyes, they're staring at me right now. Fuck.

This is Eric Cartman, but is this the "real" Eric Cartman? It didn't look that way. He didn't look like Eric Cratman...but those eyes! And this is Eric Cartman's house! So...fuck. Somehow my little question has turned into something a lot complicated and complex. Fuck this.

And I realize how quiet it is between us. How awkward it feels. How the atmosphere was tense around us, both afraid to make the first move, I guess. The only sound that could truly be heard was the TV blaring an episode of Terrance & Phillip coming from Eric Cartman's living room television. Oh this was awkward...

Snow continued to fall from the grey clouds in a tense and unsettled way, as if the snow was reflecting how I was feeling at the moment; awkwardness, nervousness...fear.

The mother of Eric Cartman seemed to have notice the awkward silence between myself and the boy who stood in front of me. She coughed and tilted her down towards the boy.

"Honey," she started in her happy-mother voice. "Don't you think you should welcome your little friend?"

The boy did not answer in no way what so ever.

"Or..." she started again, seeing how her last question failed to get any response out of the boy. "I could tell your little friend to come back another day...?"

And then, quite suddenly, the boy spoke, but it didn't sound like "his" voice. It didn't sound authoritive and demanding and uncaring. It sounded the complete opposite to all of that, and it shocked me to hear a caring, respectful, calm voice come out of the boy's mouth. Cartman?

"Please wait out here, mom," the boy spoke. "I and my friend Kyle need to have a little chat, inside," Cartman speaking in Standard English? What the fuck is this! Cartman doesn't speak like that! And he never calls me "Kyle". He always calls me "Kahl!" Fuck this. Who the fuck is this kid! I wand fucking Eric Cartman! Whoa, where the hell did that come from? Why would I want him for? I would never want...I do want him.

"Coming in, Kyle?" the boys asked in polite voice, gesturing to the open door and the room inside.

I nodded my head, for it was all I could do. I couldn't speak, not yet. Maybe this was all a tick (Fuck, I hope to God this is a trick,), maybe the boy was Eric Cartman but just pulling a trick on me. I wanted to enter anyway, for I still had an unanswered question to answer and I wasn't going to leave without an answer.

So, with that and many thoughts running in my buzzing head, I entered Eric Cartman's house, the boy closing the door behind him, leaving both of us alone in the house...

* * *

"Have a seat, Kyle,"

"I prefer to stand," I surprisingly hear my voice bounce back off the living room walls. When did I get my voice back? I thought I lost it from shock at seeing that a new boy had replaced Eric Cartman, to hear a stranger's voice come out from that mouth; I guess I was wrong...

"Suit yourself," The boy sits down on the brown couch in an odd type of way, in a way that was very un-Cartmanish. It was like all traces of the boys had disappeared. Well, except his eyes. I stole a glance at his eyes, Eric's eyes. The boy glanced towards me and quickly looked away feeling my cheeks redden with embarrassment.

Instead of looking at the boy I look around the room we both are standing in; it's Eric Cartman's living room. I had only been in Cartmn's living about two weeks ago where Stan, Kenny and Cartman and I spent a weekend working our asses off (Well, except Cartman) to get a science project completed for Mr. Garrison. But, in just a two week time gap, the room had changed. The wallpaper was no longer yellow; it was white. Many ornaments, plants and cabinets were gone. The room was almost empty. It seemed naked. What was going on?

And as to answer my question, I spot a suitcase by the bottom of the stairs.

"Is your mom going somewhere?" I ask, my voice not sounding very confident in the statement.

The boy looks to me and cocks an eyebrow. I gesture to the suitcase by the stairs and he looks away, his face deflating almost instantly.

"Not just my mom," I hear him whisper to himself, whether he intended for me to hear or not is left unanswered.

I let what he said sink into my mind. And as it does sink, something clicks into place, very quickly and very panicky. No, no...he couldn't! He wasn't! He can't! What was he doing! The fucking fat-ass! Why was he going to do something so stupid!

The boy (Was he Eric Cartman? Or was he a stranger?) was leaving South Park.

But maybe it was only a vacation. Maybe he and his mom were just going away for away. Hmm...Leanne Cartman hardly had enough money to go on vacation by herself, let alone with her son.

"Are you leaving South Park?" Better ask it straight out, I figured. I was going to add "Cartman" but I realized that this boy may not even be Eric Cartman.

The room went eerily silent. Maybe because the boy turned off the drowning noise from the television or maybe because my heart started to race and my ear-drums started to "thud" very loudly; I didn't have a clue.

And then, he answered in one word:

"Yes,"

My heart ached.

"Forever."

My heart broke.

But I should have seen all the signs, really. I should have saw it all but I just ignored it all. It explained why Eric Cartman's living room looked like half the possessions were removed from the room, explained the suitcase at the end of the stairs. It explained a lot.

But I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit. I didn't like the fact that the boy was leaving, that he was going "Forever." And quite suddenly, I hear Eric Cartman's voice in my head; I hear his gruffy, miserable voice as he says to me "You won't ever see me again, Kahl," And now, it all makes sense. What he said then now makes total sense. Eric Cartman was leaving South Park for ever and was leaving very soon, whether he knew it before he said what he said to me or if he had come home and demanded his mother that they moved; it didn't matter he was leaving.

And in that one second of realization, it hit me like a ton of bricks, it hit me like a tone of snow buried me to the ground, like the snow outside that fell faster and heavy in speed and volume. This boy, this stranger, this...Eric? My enemy, Eric Cartman, he was leaving and I would never see him again. Why wouldn't he look at me, god damn it! I just wanna look at him one last time!

But did it matter anymore? It seemed like Eric Cartman was already gone from me. It felt like that this boy had already replaced my enemy. It seemed like Eric Cartman was dead.

Fuck.

Fuck him.

Fuck everything!

FUCK YOU, ERIC CARTMAN!

The boy who sat on the couch did nothing, heard nothing.

"Are you planning to return for a visit?" I asked, tentatively, hoping that the answer would be yes.

But the answer was "No," The boy said it in a eerily, calm and unemotional voice. His eyes were blank and stared forward at the wall.

Yes, it was like he was dead, a zombie. Eric Cartman, where have you gone?

"Where are you moving to?" Cause I really wanted to know...

"Nowhere," The same unemotional voice, the same blank stare...

"Can...I come and...visit?"

Silence for a few moments.

Then a small "No," came out of the boy's mouth. Same stare, same voice, no Eric Cartman.

This is killing me, just purely fucking pulling me from the inside out. I always believed Eric Cartman to be the most uncaring and most inhumane little monster that had ever walked the earth. But that was not what I saw in front my eyes. I did not see Eric Cartman; I saw a stranger, a boy that was empty, sad, miserable. I saw no-one...

But...maybe, just maybe, this was the "real" Eric Cartman? Maybe this is my answer. Maybe Eric Cartman wasn't as evil as he tried to appear to be; maybe he was exactly like I had seen the night before. Maybe he was a sad, lonely, miserable little boy who only hid away from the world, who only covered his true self by cowering behind a "mask". Maybe his "mask" was the real fake and what I see in front of me is the person beneath the mask. Perhaps, maybe this is the "real" Eric Cartman...

And as I realize all this and look down at the pathetic person in question, my eyes start to burn with tears. Fuck sake.

"C-Cartman?" I started in a shaky voice, afraid to use the name to refer the boy, afraid that if using it, the boy would hit me or something. This is Cartman? Is it? It has to be...answer me god damn it!

I take a tentative step forward and as I do so, the boy slowly raises his head and looks at me. I finally see some emotion, some real emotion on his fat face...

"Don't call me that, Ky-le," the boy said in a strained calm voice, but his face betrayed anger. He even almost said my name the way he always says it... Kahl... "My name is Eric, now,"

"Your name has always been Eric," I say calmly as I slowly take a seat next to him. I look at him. "People, including myself, just call you Cartman-"

"I thought I told you not..." There was stress in the word "not". He was looking at me now, even angrier than before...is that the same old Cartman glare that he always use to give me? Oh please say that is... "...to call me that. I'm Eric,"

Well, if anger was the way to get the old Cartman back, I am willing to make him angrier...

"No," I say stubbornly as I cross my arms. "I like the name Cartman. I think it suits you,"

"Shut up," the boy says under his breath, trying hard not to let me hear him.

"What did you say, Cartman?" I ask in a mocking 'I can't hear you' tone. "I didn't quite catch that,"

"I said shut the fuck up you Jew rat!" Cartman shouted in pure anger, his eyes staring daggers at my own. Perfect; there's Cartman. He isn't dead, after all...

And in a split second, Cartman's face crashes to shock and is replaced with a blank stare as if nothing had ever happened.

"What did you just call me?" I ask, wanting Cartman to admit that he wasn't gone, that he was still hear, that he didn't have to go anywhere, that he could stay in South Park...with me.

"Don't, Kyle," Cartman said in a warning voice, staring back at the wall, his breathing deep and calm.

"Don't what?" I exclaim as I rise to my feet and walk to standing in front of the boy. "Don't tell you to say your name? To remind you who you really are? To tell you not to leave me!"

"Just don't, Kahl!" He said my name! He said it how he always used to say it, how he does say it. That's Cartman! That fucking Eric Theodore fucking Cartman right there, right in front of me! He was still here, right here in this room, with me. He hadn't left, not yet anyway.

Triumphant glistened across my face, but it soon disappeared as I saw Cartman's eyes; they were wet. Was he crying? Yes, he was crying. Those eyes, I could never forget those eyes. The same eyes I saw yesterday night when he cried on my shirt at my house. He's upset.

"Please, don't," Cartman whispered, and he too had risen from his seat. He started to walk away from me, putting his hands on his head as if he was trying to block my voice and all the stuff that was going on around him; he was suffering...

"Cartman," I am shocked to hear my voice is but a whisper. "What happened to you? Why weren't you at school today? Why are you so different? Why are you leaving South Park? Why are you leaving..." Everything was coming out of my mouth to quickly for me to stop. Fortunately I stopped the last question from being asked in full; I would have finished with; "...me?"

Silence, yet again, filled the room. I said nothing. Cartman said nothing. I looked to the window; snow was still falling from the grey clouds (Would it ever stop snowing!). The silence, in the end, only lasted a few seconds, but to me, it felt more like half an hour.

Cartman slowly turned around. His eyes, his brown gorgeous eyes stared back at me and I saw sadness, hurt...loneliness...

"You want me to answer those questions for you, Kahl?" It wasn't a questioning tone; it was more of a sneer mocking tone. "Kahl" was spoken as if it was a dirty contagious disease, the way Cartman always pronounces my name.

I nodded.

"Fine, but listen really carefully, Jew," He walked closer to me, stared into my eyes. "This..." He gestured to his appearance. "...is all because of you,"

I was about to retort but he held up a hand which silenced me.

"You want me to talk, so let me talk and then I'll let you say whatever crap you have to say, OK, Jew?"

I nodded my head; I fumed up and my heart sorrowed when he referred to me as "Jew,"

"It was you, you fucking Jew-rat. You did this to me. You always cause everything, don't you?" It was a rhetorical question so I didn't bother answering him. "It's always your fault, isn't it? Even if you don't know it, it always is," And I can see that there are fresh tears coming from his eyes; he is actually, genuinely, upset. He turns around so I can't see his face. He continues.

"I promised myself I would never bring this up but, it seems, I have no choice. Last night, when you fucking held me and I was crying like a pussy, you told me that you liked me. You said that you liked me a lot, that you liked me how I was. The thing was, that wasn't who I am. I'm not like that; I'm a fucking dick to everyone. I'm not nice. But..."

Silence filled the room, once again. Outside, however, I could hear a van pulling up to Cartman's house.

Cartman turned and faced me, tears evident at the corner of his eyes.

"But," He continued. "You liked me. But it wasn't because of me; it was because of the way I was dressed, the disguise I wore to Bebe's party; that's all you fucking like and I knew that...I know that. At first I was shocked to see that you followed me outside and hadn't realized who I was. I mean, come on, Kahl! I thought you were smarter than that!"

Cartman scoffed a little. I wanted to shout something back at him, but his warning glare was all I needed to keep my mouth shut.

"I thought you were tricking me, having a joke with me. But then I realized you weren't; you weren't joking at all..." And he turned his back to me, again. But he continued on... "And when I realized that you didn't have a clue who I was...what I was...a monster that was never loved by any one on this god-forsaken-fucked up world..." Cartman stopped talking for a brief moment when, I was sure, I heard a small audioable sob from him. "I decided, there and then on that cold, snow-filled street that I wanted to be...loved. I guess you could say, I was testing you, to see if anyone could like...love someone like me...even if I was in a disguise,"

Cartman slowly turned to face me, a mixture of sadness and...anger? Yes, anger was on his face. He was sad and angry. Why? Why was he angry? Was he angry at me? Did I upset him so? Was it me? Well...I should be the one who's angry, not him! He fucking tested my emotions! Did he mean a word he even said to me? Did he mean a fucking word or was that all part of his "test"? How could he stand there and be angry at me when he is the one in the wrong! He is such an asshole!

As I felt my face turn into an expression of anger which, easily, challenged Cartman's, he carried on speaking:

"And, you know what the answer was, Kahl?" he asked with sadness and anger dripping at every word he spat at me, his jaw almost clenched shut as if it was hard for him to carry on speaking. "You know what the results from my test were? To see if I could be loved by anyone. You know what my answer, my result, was!"

This was a question directed at me and wasn't rhetorical, either, so I answered, with a angry expression still placed on my face.

"No," answer in a flat voice, sounding much angry than I intended to sound like. "But I'm dying to no..." I added, sarcastically.

But the sarcasm was not appreciated but Cartman for the moment he heard my sarcastic reply, his angry expression seemed to soften for awhile and his sadness seemed to overwhelm his facial features. He...was sad?

"The answer was "Yes", Kahl," he spoke in a drained voice, looking, slowly, to the floor. "I could be loved...could I?" And, for the first time in my life and, properly, the only time I would ever encounter, I saw Eric Theodore Cartman look up at me with curiosity and hopefulness in his eyes, like he was confirming from me that the answer, the result from his "test" was "Yes,". He was looking at me with such desperation that even I didn't believe what I was seeing was true. His voice was full with hope and sadness. For the first time in his life, Eric Cartman genuinely looked like an innocent, little kid.

As the shook disappeared and my brain screamed to me to answer the hopeful boy in front of me, I answered first with a hesitant nod (Why was I hesitant? Was it because I didn't really like him?) and then answered verbally:

"Yes, you...are loved," I answer, I am shocked to hear myself say it, and don't quite believe that those words escaped through my lips and my voice is calmer, opposite from the angry voice I heard a few seconds ago. My face is portraying an expression of reassurance.

And the boy...Cartman sees this and he smiles for a few seconds but when the noise of a beeping van from outside the Cartman's house is heard, the smile vanishes in a second and is replaced with a miserable frown. I only realize that the room that he and I are standing in is becoming darker and darker. I look to the window and I see that the snow is still falling, still blowing against the wind, like a child crying but trying to stop the tears falling with their nose by inhaling through their nostrils; it was all pointless...

"But it was all pointless," I hear Cartman say. My eyes snap back to his figure, his voice bring my attention back onto him; did he hear what I was thinking or what? "Even after I shared my thoughts with you, even after I cried myself on you, even after we..." And, suddenly, he stopped. But it didn't matter anymore cause I wasn't listening to him, anyway; I was still thinking, trying to work what he had said.

He shared his thoughts with me?

When he was crying on me?

And then, I understand...

"_Nobody ever plays with me..." _I, Stan and Kenny hang out with the boy...but we never really played with him...we didn't even want him around to begin with...

"_...Nobody says nice things about me..."_ "Fucking fat-ass!" "Dipshit!" "Lardass!" I've called him so many things, but never a nice thing...

"_Nobody ever invites me to their party!"_ The boy wasn't allowed to enter Bebe's slut party...

"_The person I really like, hates me!"_ Who was he talking about? Was he talking about me? Did he...did he actually like me all this time? Even when we were enemies? And even after all the shit I call him, he still likes me?

Guilt pulls in from the inside of my body.

Cartman's is still quiet, not looking at me, but staring at the floor (Is he thinking of...that night? When he and I actually...did it? Images and smells and sounds still linger in my brain as the memory returns to me...)

I sigh deeply. "Who do you really like?" I say, barely audioable for the boy to hear.

"What?" He asks this because he is confused with what I asked, I assume.

I sigh again. "The night when you told me your thoughts," I elaborate, as my eyes look to the floor as I find hard to look at the boy. "You said 'The person I really like, hates me!'. Who do you really like?" And I look onto his face and I see a startled expression covering his whole face.

"I...I...n-no-one," he answer's lamely, in a starting, unconvincing voice. I actually roll my eyes at his answer.

"Oh, come on, Cartman," I say in voice that doesn't belief in what he is saying. "That's bullshit and you know it is," I walk a little further and my eyes, surprisingly, stare into his as I continue: "Tell me the truth; who do you really like?"

My determined eyes are staring into his freighted ones as I await a truthful answer.

The fear in his eyes vanishes in an instant as his hands push hard against my chest, causing me to almost stumble over my feet (When did he get so strong? Or...was he always strong?). His eyes are angry and mine are now dazzling in surprise, not expecting the reaction I received.

"Why do you care?" He asks in a sneering voice, as he walks away from me and over to the suitcase that is at the bottom of the stairs. "It's none of your fucking business, Jew," I hear the zip to the suitcase open and then hear it close. Cartman is crouched on the floor, his back to me. He suddenly stands to his full height and turns to face me as he answers:

"Besides, I'm supposed to be answering the questions you already asked me," He says in an authoritive voice. "You can't ask me new questions; it doesn't work like that, you fucking Jew! So, why don't you shut up and let me talk!"

But despite him saying this, I talk in a small voice...

"It's me, isn't it?"

And I know that he understands me for I see the expression on his face; an expression of fear and shock and I know, even before he opens his mouth to answer that the answer is "Yes,".

"What are you talking about, Jew?"

"You like me, don't you?"

And even though I know the answer is "Yes," and he knows the answer is "Yes,", he, obviously, denies it...

"I like you?" He bursts out laughing, and I would have too if he told me the same thing a few days ago. But I know that this is no joke; this is not a dream or another dimension where everything is the opposite and he and I would get along; it was all real, it is real...his real...

"Don't make me laugh, Jew," he snorts out when he finishes laughing, loudly. "Where the fuck did you come up with that? Another one of your Jewish-"

I lose it. I completely lose it. But how can he stand there and deny it when I've been thinking of that kiss...his lips...him...everything for the whole day and then he just stands there and says that he doesn't like me. Who the hell does he thinks his kidding! He fucking told me he loves me when he left me on that night!

I scream as I clench to his brown t-shirt and push him against a wall, which cracks from the weight that is pushed into it. I am surprised by my strength and so is the boy under my weight, the shock evident in his eyes.

"Don't fucking deny it, you fat fuck!" I scream in his face. "I've been thinking of you fr the whole fucking day and then you come along and say that you don't like me!" He looks shocked and surprised as he stares into my face, trying to figure out if what I'm saying has any truth. And I don't care that I feel tears leaving my eyes; I didn't care anymore. He was leaving so what did it matter?

"Still the same old Cartman, aren't you?" I look down him at his clothes, a sneer creeping across my face and my face is twisted in disgust. "Still arrogant, manipulative and denies everything, even though it is true. Still afraid to love...afraid to be rejected..." The boy closes his eyes, tightly. "...Afraid to be loved. Still lonely as ever..."

The boy's eyes open and I see the devil himself in them and I jump back as I hear the snow outside becoming stronger, hearing the wind howl. The next thing I know, I hear thunder, lightning fills the room with lightness for a second and disappears and with this lightning, Cartman uses the devil inside him to push me. I fall to the floor and he jumps on me, keeping me down on the ground. He holds onto my wrists with his hands and his fat body is sitting on my stomach, making it hard for me to breathe. I couldn't get out the hold even if I tried; he was much bigger and much stronger than I; I was stuck...

"You don't know shit about me, Kyle Broflovski!" He screams at my fearful face. "You don't know anything, even though everyone thinks you're the smartest guy in class! Even though you're gonna end up with a successful career and I'm gonna be trapped in this hell hole of a town," His eyes, momentarily, scans the room. "Well that's not gonna happen! I'm leaving this fucked up town and I'm gonna make a new name for myself; find someone who loves me for me. I found out the type of person people will like because of you. So, I stayed at home for the whole day, changed my whole appearance, became a new person, so someone will love me, even though it wasn't me...me," His eyes tear up and he looks like his trying to stop himself from crying. He tries to stop the tears from falling, but they fall onto my wide eyed expression.

"I changed everything to be loved," His voice is a little shaky. "And that is why I'm leaving; to be loved," And finally, he gets off me and stands. I feel my lungs re-fill with air.

"So, congratulations, Kahl," I slowly stand to face him, but it has gotten so dark in the room I can hardly see him. "Your enemy is leaving you; I hope you're fucking happy now," I hear something being lifted and, I assume, it is Cartman's suitcase.

"Your questions are answered," Cartman says in a flat voice. "I have nothing else to say to you, except this..."

I hear shuffling and I can just about see Cartman walk towards me. I feel him close to me, his breathe against my ear.

"Goodbye, Kahl," he whispers. The heat from his breathe is gone, and as it disappears, I desperately want it back. "This is the last time you'll see me,"

I hear the door open. Lightning strikes across the sky outside, the snow falling, rapidly as ever. Momentarily, I see Cartman's silhouette against the floor. I hear the door shut; it's gone.

He's gone.

But why don't I stop him?

I should.

I will!

I shake my head and I run towards the door, opening it as fast as I can. The snow is falling heavily, dark clouds loom over South Park. The van is still parked outside and I realize what it is; it's a moving van and Cartman is getting in...

"Cartman!" I shout. "Stop!"

The boy turns around and looks at me, shock on his face.

"Don't do this..." I puff out as I calm down my breathing as I stop in front of him and catch my breath. "Please..." I look into his gorgeous brown eyes. "...don't leave South Park,"

"I have to," he calmly states.

"No you don't!" I retort back.

An angry expression crosses his face.

"Yeah, and why not, Jew?"

"Because...because I..." Say it for fuck sake! He's standing right in front of you! Don't blow this chance! But I don't say it...

"That's what I thought," he scoffs as he turns around.

"Because you're loved...here," It escapes my mouth before I can stop myself.

Cartman turns around.

"What?" he asks, not knowing what to say.

"Because you're loved...here in South Park,"

"No, I'm not,"

"You are,"

"Then who? Who loves me?"

I'm quiet. Why am I quiet? Say something!

"No one, that's who! No one fucking loves me, isn't that right, Kahl? Isn't that right, no-one loves me! You don't and no-one don't so just get the fuck away from me and go back to a concentration camp you little, Jew rat face!"

I punch him. He bleeds; his nose, to be persist. He punches me back, my nose, also, bleeding now, but his punch was twice as strong as mine. I think my nose is broken, I don't care.

"I fucking hate you, fat-ass!" I scream.

"I hope you fucking die with AID's, you little Jew rat!"

I run into Carman and I push my lips against his in a passionate and anger-filled kiss, both love and hate combined into one; it was amazing. This was a Cartman kiss; both loving and hateful. Part of me knew it was wrong, but I ignored that part as I deepened the kiss and he didn't even resist.

The snow had stopped falling. The storm had stopped all together as if it hadn't started at all. Cartman's mom gasped when she saw her son's lips on mine; I smiled inwardly.

My question had an answer; Eric Cartman, who is he? His both the monster and the boy. He's the "mask" he created and he's the man behind the "mask". He's both hateful and loving, lonely and sad. He's arrogant, intolerant...a monster. But also sad, lonely and miserable, desperate to be loved.

I know who Eric Cartman is and the answer was under my nose the whole time; he's my other half, my other self...

It had always been him.

It was him.

* * *

**THEN END**

* * *

**A/N:**

**Sorry it's taken me longer than expected to releases this final part of the story; life in general had been a bitch, but it's all cool now.**

**At last; it's the end!**

**I really wanted to continue this with a cliff-hanger, but I resisted the urge.**

**So, what did you think? Like the end or hate it? Was it what you were expecting? I gotta say, it was nowhere near to what I was expecting but I like how it turned out.**

**I think I balanced the drama OK and I like how I got into Kyle's emotions and feelings. I hope Cartman is characterized OK.**

**Oh, by the way, the snow and storm is supposed to represent Kyle's and Cartman's confrontation. That's why there's a storm when Cartman leave his house because the confrontation between the two characters has reached a climax.**

**I do have a another ending to this story which involves Stan and Kenny which is suppose to lead onto another story. If I get reviews requesting to read it, I will post it! :)**

**Please, please, please review! They mean a lot to me if you couldn't guess. :)**

**Reviews will be treated as confidence boosters to my esteem! **

**To people who are wondering, I am working on the next chapter to my CartmanxKyle fic "I'll Try To Fix You" and will be up soon.**

**Until next time my peeps! :)**


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